


pagmasdan ang mga tala

by inkwellAnomaly



Category: Noli Me Tangere & Related Works - José Rizal
Genre: 1990s, Childhood Friends, Childhood Memories, High School, M/M, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 22:33:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,208
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16146944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inkwellAnomaly/pseuds/inkwellAnomaly
Summary: “Ano bang kanta 'to?” Basilio asks when a slow song suddenly comes on the radio. It’s raining outside, so they have to strain their ears to listen. Against the noise of the rain, Basilio can hear the flowing melody - something about undying love? “Kundiman ata,” Isagani answers him.





	pagmasdan ang mga tala

Basilio wonders, staring at the open fields he knows almost too well, when his friend became so heartsick - writing poems, staring at the sunset, crying at the evening episodes of what happened to be his mother’s favorite teleserye. Isagani Florentino, he noted, had always had a heart a little too soft for the rest of the world, although this time it seemed like he was ready to give it to someone.

By the time they’re in high school, they’ve already known each other for what feels like an eternity. A girl named Paulita Gomez transfers into their class, and Isagani is head over heels for her. “Ito na,” he says to Basilio one afternoon on their walk home from school. “I’m in love, I can feel it.” Basilio laughs. “Kung ‘di ka niya type, ‘wag mo nang habulin,” he jokingly advises.

It’s only a few months later, after all that chiding and teasing, that Basilio realizes what a hypocrite he is.

Before he knows it, Basilio’s spending his afternoons in Isagani’s room, listening to him strum his guitar or recite his latest poems, his friend’s voice shaky with nervousness. “Okey ba ‘to, okey ba ‘to?” Isagani asks, and Basilio always nods yes. How could he say no? Isagani then furiously erases the last few lines he’s written, and scribbles some new ones.

Isagani had always been filled with energy; Basilio had noticed that as soon as they met. It was in the town church of Tiani (Basilio was a sacristan there) that the parish priest, who turned out to be Isagani’s uncle, had introduced the two. Basilio, meek and quiet like his mother, was at first taken aback by Isagani’s energy. “Ano pangalan mo? Ba’t ganyan suot mo? Gusto mo pumunta sa bahay ko mamaya?” Isagani asks in quick succession, with a slight whistle due to one of his baby teeth having fallen out.

It was soon after they met that Basilio’s afternoons would become a lot less lonely - Isagani would invite him over to his house to play with his action figures, and in Basilio would invite him in turn to the fields surrounding his own home. They’d walk with their arms sticking out on the edge of the irrigation canals - thankfully, neither of them had ever fallen in. Together, they’d climb trees, play tagu-taguan, fly kites, go swimming in the river and just lie down on the grass, making-believe that the creatures they saw in the clouds were actually there.

Things were different now. When Basilio wasn’t studying, he was helping his mother man their humble sari-sari store. The two of them managed it on their own - this was thanks to Basilio’s father, who had left home when he was five and taken Crispin with him for good measure. Basilio couldn’t remember what he and his mother were fighting about. He could only remember the shouting he could hear through the walls of his bedroom.

Basilio recalls telling Isagani about his situation - they were both thirteen, he thinks. For some reason, he’d expected Isagani to laugh, but instead Isagani embraces him. He holds him close - Isagani smells of flowers, though he can’t quite tell which type. Fitting, Basilio tells himself later.

Basilio’s fourteen by the time he realizes he’s in love - the feelings, like the rain, had started slowly before crashing down in a torrent. They’re in Isagani’s room, with Basilio listening to him practice his songs as always. “Anong tinititigan mo?” Isagani asks him. “May ano ba sa mukha ko?” Basilio doesn’t respond, and instead looks back down at his notebook, trying not to notice how handsome Isagani looks in the golden light of the afternoon.

“Ano bang kanta 'to?” Basilio asks when a slow song suddenly comes on the radio. It’s raining outside, so they have to strain their ears to listen. Against the noise of the rain, Basilio can hear the flowing melody - something about undying love? “Kundiman ata,” Isagani answers him. Basilio’s nine and Isagani’s eight - they’re taking a break from doodling on old newspaper and playing games on his NES. Isagani passes onto him the story of his uncle about a man who had loved a girl in his town, only for the man’s mother to drive her away when she found out that she was pregnant. “Ito ‘yung kinanta niya bago umalis yung babae,” Isagani had explained. Basilio had wondered what happened to the baby.

On the night that Isagani is to serenade Paulita, Basilio can barely bring himself to go, even though Isagani begs him to. “Moral support,” he says. “‘Tas ikaw na rin taga-hawak ng bulaklak.” It’s the end of November, and the cold envelopes him.  As Isagani sings his love to Paulita, who’s gazing at him from her window, Basilio feels his chest tie itself in knots. Clutching the bouquet in his hands - they’re white roses - he looks up at the stars and wonders if this is what Fate had wanted for him.

When Paulita ends up dating one of their classmates, Basilio is the first one Isagani turns to. It’s February, and Isagani’s poetry is no match for Juanito’s smooth talk. Before Basilio knows it, they’re back in Isagani’s room, his friend crying into his arms. Basilio’s almost glad it happened, although he quickly takes it back after realizing how selfish he’s becoming. He doesn’t want his friend hurt, he reminds himself. It’s better him than Isagani that’s in pain. He remembers something his mother once said: “Mabuti pa na tayo ang nahihirapan, e sanay naman tayo. ‘Yung iba dyan, ‘di kaya yung mga pinagdadaanan natin.”

By the time summer vacation rolls around, Isagani’s gotten over his heartbreak and is back to his usual cheery self. They’re sitting next to each other on a bench outside Basilio’s house, eating Sisa’s homemade halu-halo to cool off. “Ikaw ba, may crush ka ngayon?” Isagani suddenly asks. Basilio swallows his halu-halo and tries to keep his composure. “Wala.”

Basilio blinks, and suddenly it’s Christmastime. They’re at Isagani’s house celebrating noche buena (Sisa and Father Florentino had decided, a long time ago, that this kind of arrangement made both their homes feel a little more full). Isagani hums Christmas songs while playing his guitar, and Basilio realizes it’s always, always been him. He asks him if they can go outside, and Isagani puts down his guitar and follows him out. They can hear the sounds of the neighborhood more clearly now - in the distance, some drunk person is singing off-tune karaoke. “So anong ganap?” Isagani asks, chuckling. Basilio looks up at the stars again (their light seems as cold and cruel as always) and takes a deep breath. Here it comes, he thinks to himself. This is it.

“Promise mo na friends tayo forever,” Isagani says as he holds up his hand for a pinky-swear. Basilio’s seven, Isagani’s six - it’s been two weeks since Isagani’s uncle introduced them to each other at the church entrance. Basilio pauses, gazing first at the fields below them (he thinks they can see everything from that branch of the sampaloc tree) and turns to Isagani. The sun’s not even down yet, but he can already see the moon; the stars, however, are still out of sight. He interlocks his pinky finger with Isagani’s. “Promise.”


End file.
